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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183568">what could have been</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iteezwhatiteez1/pseuds/iteezwhatiteez1'>iteezwhatiteez1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Movie: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, POV Padmé Amidala, also i didn't edit it ope</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:34:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183568</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iteezwhatiteez1/pseuds/iteezwhatiteez1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"She was tired of justifying <em>his</em> moral transgressions."</p><p>In an early version of Revenge of the Sith, Padme was going to try and kill Anakin when she confronted him on Mustafar. What would have happened?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>what could have been</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hii dw im still working on my time travel work but i got a random burst of inspiration and cranked this out between like midnight and 1am last night</p><p>*reformatted 2/11/21 into stanzas</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She stared out the window as her ship began its descent onto Mustafar.<br/>
A feeling of dread had settled into her stomach, something akin to a hole.<br/>
Part of her was missing. More precisely, ripped out— <br/>
By <em>him.</em></p><p>Of course, she was a logical woman. Her stomach was very much not empty.<br/>
<em>He</em> may have stolen her soul and left<br/>
a gaping wound in its wake,<br/>
but the children who resided in her belly were <em>his</em>.</p><p>Threepio fretted as usual, but she barely registered it above the deafening, mind-numbing, roar<br/>
of pain in her head, the two lives shifting around in her stomach.<br/>
Normally, their movement was a spark for joy, but now it was just a reminder of her pain.<br/>
<em>He </em>had done this.</p><p>She wondered if the children could sense her turmoil— <br/>
if they had <em>his</em> abilities.<br/>
She had spend months secretly hoping her children would inherit <em>his</em> blue eyes,<br/>
but now she prayed to every deity in the galaxy that this was not true.</p><p>The ship landed.<br/>
She grabbed the knife, let it remain hidden in the folds of her cloak<br/>
as she stepped onto the lava scorched soil.<br/>
The sweat on her hands was just from the heat.</p><p><em>He</em> rushed toward her immediately, large hands resting on her wait,<br/>
thumbs brushing over her bump. Someone kicked.<br/>
She felt as if her entire body, her entire being was<br/>
screaming, rejecting <em>him.</em></p><p>She asked if the terrible deeds were true.<br/>
She demanded the truth, but she already knew.<br/>
This was just a formality.<br/>
<em>He </em>was already long gone.</p><p>A sweaty forehead pressed against hers.<br/>
She leaned in instinctually, unable to deny the momentary comfort.<br/>
Above the familiar cologne she smelt smoke, sweat, blood, death. It infiltrated her senses,<br/>
the gruesome evidence of what <em>he</em> did.</p><p>Strong arms pulled her closer,<br/>
like they had on her wedding night by the sparkling blue lake,<br/>
As if they had not just butchered countless innocents in her name.<br/>
<em>He</em> had ruined everything with those arms.</p><p>Taking advantage of their embrace, she grasped the knife,<br/>
pointed it at <em>his</em> neck,<br/>
the tip of the blade resting underneath soft curls<br/>
on vulnerable, exposed skin.</p><p>Blue eyes met hers, widening in surprise.<br/>
She knew their every expression, every emotion.<br/>
Would she have to see <em>his</em> eyes every time she looked at her children?<br/>
Was there any part of her untainted by <em>him</em>?</p><p>A tear escaped those blue eyes. How dare <em>he</em> cry.<br/>
She stood in front of the monster who stole <em>his</em> face and destroyed her life.<br/>
She should be the one crying, sobbing, screaming,<br/>
but her eyes were dry.</p><p><em>He</em> leaned back into the knife, letting it pierce the skin, blue eyes never wavering.<br/>
She understood their wordless plea.<br/>
<em>He</em> never knew when to stop.<br/>
It was always up to her to draw the line.</p><p>She was tired of justifying <em>his</em> moral transgressions.</p><p>One second.<br/>
That’s all it would take<br/>
for blood to spill over her hand, roll down <em>his</em> back, boil on the ground.<br/>
It would be over.<br/>
<em>He</em> would be over.</p><p>One minute<br/>
That’s how long it would take<br/>
for the vicious pleading light behind <em>his</em> eyes to fade<br/>
into lifeless neutrality.<br/>
<em>He</em> had never been neutral about anything.</p><p>One month.<br/>
That’s how long it would be until<br/>
<em>his</em> children would be born.<br/>
A boy and a girl, she hoped.<br/>
<em>He </em>would never meet her children.</p><p>One decision.<br/>
That’s all it would take.</p><p>The knife clattered on the ground.<br/>
She couldn’t do it.</p><p>She loved <em>him</em>; she hated <em>him</em>.<br/>
Her stomach churned from the unrelenting scream in her mind,<br/>
the children doing somersaults in her stomach— <br/>
from <em>his</em> disgustingly beautiful eyes.</p><p>She traced a hand along <em>his</em> face,<br/>
stared into blue eyes one last time before the shouting began.<br/>
Invisible hands locked around her throat,<br/>
Squeezing with an anger that burned.</p><p>Clear blue eyes turned<br/>
a sickly yellow.<br/>
<em>He</em> was gone.<br/>
Everything was dark.</p><p>When she awoke, her son was ripping his way out of her body.<br/>
He didn’t cry, but she finally did.<br/>
<em>Luke</em>.</p><p>Her daughter screamed and screamed upon her arrival,<br/>
like she knew what had happened, what was going to happen.<br/>
<em>Leia</em>.</p><p>She insisted there was good in <em>him</em>.<br/>
There had to have been, at some point.<br/>
She simply lost the ability to convince <em>him</em> of it.</p><p>She never saw Luke’s blue eyes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i promise i love anakin but sometimes the angst just hits different</p></blockquote></div></div>
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